I learn to play it simplified.

You cannot be anything you want to be - but you can be a lot more of who you already are.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

tHouGHts
ThouGhTs

it hurts.. when peeps tat u luv are feelin down..
n the worst thing ish..
u dunno wat to sae..
to comfort them.. to cheer them up..

at tat point of time..
tingz felt sho lost at words..
felt sorry..
wanted to comfort her..
but.. sumhow.. i feel tat wateva comforting words i use will be jus sho superficial..

frm receiving the news.. to decidin to acc her at mount e..
all i had in mind.. ish wat shld i sae to her..
did n will she cry?
does mi acc her at mount e helps? or will i disturb her family privacy..
questions..
all i had in mind are the unknowns of mi actions..

she's strong..
or rather trying to be..
dunno y.. but tats how i felt..
her smile..
its lyt telling mi..
"dumb ger.. dun worry bout mi.. i'm fine"
how cum its the other way round?

i wanted to be there to comfort her..
but now..
all i did todae.. ish lendin mi precious ears to her..
did mi presence help?
felt kinda usless..

i noe when i'm down.. all i need ish sumone close to be there for mi..
listenin to mi.. jus listening..
n to giv mi a hug or a light pat on the head..
one to mi tat hides a deep meanin..
its lyt.. "hey.. dont worry.. ya are not alone.. i'm wif ya.."

i did all these todae..
but did it help?
i put myself in her shoes..
but ish she lyt mi? ish this wat she need now?

at her place..
when she show mi the recent prints of her n her dad..
recallin n tellin mi wat happen at the print machine..
i felt sadness in her words..
felt tears filling her eyes..
i noe she's lost..
i dint sae a thing..
i stared at the pic..
those smiles tat she n her dad had..
i'm reali sorry ger..

i had yet to experience noeing tat i'll be losing sumone this close in my family..
u didnt cry todae.. if its mi.. i noe i will..
i'm not saeing tat ya must cry.. but..
are ya reali tat strong ger..
as buddhist.. we all noe the facts of life..
death ish certaince.. life ish impermenent.. accepting facts.. karma.. etc..
but i dun see the need to surpress feelings..
mayb ya didnt..
perhaps u are reali tat strong.. or jus too lost to noe wat ta do..
jus hope there's no silent tears pls..
jus wanna make sure sumone ish there for ya at any point of time..
luv ya lots ger.. *hugz*






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